Mar 1970 - The Incredible Hulk

Hulk wakes up not knowing where he is, which isn't unusual. He then starts to remember trashing a wedding. This makes Hulk sad, so he turns back into Bruce Banner. Banner then remembers that he thought he had cured himself of being the Hulk and was getting ready to marry the girl of his dreams, Betty Ross, when super-villains caused him to hulk out at the altar.

Bruce is devestated by this, but then sees the newsflash that in a few hours Earth is going to travel through a comet tail that will kill everybody. Banner rushes to the Army Base, where he is made to fly the top secret rocket carrying a nuke to blow up the comet. He is a rocket scientist, after all...

He succeeds in blowing up the comet and saving the world, but on the way back to earth, he accidently snags the Absorbing Man (who was thrown into space by Thor a while back). The Absorbing Man decides killing the pilot of the rocket is a great idea and proceeds to smash the cockpit with his wrecking ball.

HULK MAD!!!

A big fight ensues, first on the rocket, then in the wreckage when the rocket crashes. Eventually the Absorbing Man absorbs Hulk's power, turns green and picks up a mountain to drop on the Hulk. The Hulk then conveniently turns back into Banner, the Absorbing man stops being green and turns into a rock and is crushed by the mountain he was holding.

Hulk/Banner wander off being sad...

Mar 1970 - Justice League of America

Mar 1970 - Green Lantern

One of Green Lantern's lady friends (the one who's super brain is secretly keeping a race of aliens alive) mysteriously becomes ill so Green Lantern and her doctor travel to the Anti-Matter universe to find out why. It turns out the unpronounceable aliens, who are all evil, have an ancient obelisk filled with treasure that they can't open, and they need the girl's super brain to crack it. Her illness turns out to have been caused by the dimensional-teleportation device getting a lock on her.

The evil aliens teleport the girl (I just started reading GL, and can't for the life of me remember her name. Doris?) to their dimension, use her magic brain to crack open the obelisk to discover that the "treasure" is a note telling them that their centuries long quest to crack the obelisk open caused a large amounts of research and knowledge that enhanced their world for the better, and that should be treasure enough.

Evidently the ancient aliens who left the obelisk where dicks. The evil aliens are not amused.

Green Lantern, the girl, and her doctor head back to earth, where Green Lantern erases their memory, cause he's kinda a dick too. (insert Hal Jordon joke here)

Mar 1970 - The Flash

A random criminal gets in a altercation with the flash and uses a strange light gun to blind the Flash, who then runs around as fast as he can while blind. Eventually, the criminals get the jump on him and are about to kill him, when a dog comes out of nowhere and saves him. Then, when the flash is at home watching TV, he sees that that a local businessman has been killed by a dog. Of course it's the same dog. Flash declares that the dog is innocent, but is ignored. The dog is set to go to trial(!?) so the Flash breaks into the pound and rescues him. He then figures out that the criminals that attacked him are hirelings of the dead businessman's rival, who had the businessman killed and framed the dog for murder to keep themselves from being investigated. Fast punches from the Flash sort everything out, and the Flash now evidently owns a dog.

I'm curious if the dog ever appears in any other issue, or if the writers ignore it, like DC is so prone to doing with it's continuity.

 

Mar 1970 - Fantastic Four

The Mad Thinker, Who likes to announce how smart he is by announcing that everything happened at the exact minute his genius predicted, has built some androids that look and act exactly like the Fantastic Four. He successfully replaces all of the real Fantastic Four and sneaks into the Baxter Building using a secret elevator he installed earlier. Then The Mad Thinker discovers that the duplicate Reed Richards is actually the real Reed Richards, who then wakes up all of his team-mates and kicks the crap out of the Mad Thinker.

Why the Mad Thinker secretly installed an elevator instead of a bomb is not explained.

Mar 1970 - Daredevil

A new "hero" is in town, and he's a bored rich kid that found a book on alchemy in his library (left there by an alien trying to take over the world) went to his well stocked lab, and whipped up a formula for super powers. Somehow, it must be were-wolf related because it works better during the day.

Anyways...Nighthawk starts running around town catching crimminals and getting his name in the paper. As he's more interested in being popular and not bored, he decides to make Daredevil look bad, and steal all his street cred(or something like that) He drugs DD, and then beats him in a fight over who gets to capture the bad guys.

Daredevil then gets his shit together, get's bitched at by his GF for even being a superhero and goes after Nighthawk again. After donning a costume and pretending to be a criminal, DD is caught by Nighthawk, who then admits he's not really a hero, and has never even turned in any criminals to the police.

Daredevil Then broadcasts the confession using a hidden microphone and speakers he has placed all over the city. He also whipped up a antidote for the drugs Nighthawk uses.

Matt Murdock went to a law school that requires courses in electronics and biochemistry.

Mar 1970 - Batman

Batman fakes his own death to catch a man threatening to kill a reporter. The best thing about this issue is the cover.

Mar 1970 - DC Comics advertisement

No. No I can't imagine Jerry Lewis and Wonder Woman together.

Mar 1970 - Detective Comics

Bruce Wayne is hosting a charity auction when some thugs in scuba gear show up and steal a worthless painting. Batman uses infra-red goggles to follow the thugs nuclear powered mini-sub to an eccentric billionaire's castle where Batman finds his painting and several other works of art that used the same model. The billionaire tries to kill Batman and fails, but not before telling Batman that he was in love with the opera singer that was the model for all the stolen art. Batman decides the guy is crazy and tells commissioner Gordon to  have the guy committed, which Commissioner Gordon promptly does.
Batgirl foils a serial killer targeting red-heads that he finds using a computer dating service. He thought Batgirl/Barbara Gordon was to beautiful to kill. Idiot.

Mar 1970 - Iron Man

Iron Man, still upset about his girlfriend getting killed during a battle with the Titanium Man, brutally sinks the freighter that smuggled the titanium Man into the country. He then decides to go on vacation to try and forget he got his GF killed. Before he can leave, he's kidnapped By the wife of one of the sailors that help smuggle in the Titanium Man. She had found out about the Titanium Man,alerted the authorities and promptly had an assassin hired to kill her. So Iron Man takes her to his country cabin.

Meanwhile, a former employee of IM's late girlfriend is try to kill Tony stark. Of course the hired assassination shoots the amateur killer and smugly goes after his target, not realizing Iron Man is expecting him. Iron Man looses the battle and the assassination disguises himself as Stark to fool his target into letting him in her safe room. She lets him in, but the amateur killer kills the hired killer and then breaks his neck falling down the stairs.

Iron Man still has a sad...